How did she know?

Do you ever feel, when you are working on something, that you keep taking 2 steps forward, and 1 step back? Or maybe not a step but a huge push back? That's what's been going on here for a little while now. This process all started because of a strong feeling, or prompting, I had in church. I have realized that the farther away we get from spiritual experiences, the more we allow outside influences to interfere with our goals. We fight more as a family. Family prayer doesn't always happen, and neither does couple prayer. Church becomes more of a habit instead of a spiritual experience surrounding our Heavenly Father and our Savior Jesus Christ. And you start to question things. Are we doing the right thing? Is this really God's plan for us? Are we being fair to our children? These are the things that have been going on in our home. It's been 7 months since we decided to start this process. 6 months since we started the process with our agency. I really thought that by now, we would have another wonderful blessing in our home. So I start to wonder, Have my actions made me unworthy for this blessing? Am I doing everything in my power to bring our son home? Have I not been the example and leader to my children that I need to be? I'm not sure about the answers to these questions, but I did have a wonderful experience lately that helped me see that we are on the right path, still.
Last month Kyle and I had a discussion about our adoption, and where we felt we were at and what we needed to do. We changed or prayers from "Please help us find the money" to "Please help us know what we should do." Meaning, should we keep going or stop? I personally prayed that we would know what changes we needed to make, and whether or not we were still supposed to keep going with the adoption. A few weeks ago, I was sitting in church listening to the speakers, praying about our dilemma, when the most amazing feeling of peace came over me. I felt that we were back on the right path, and that we needed to just keep going forward. That week, as I continued to pray about what we should do, I had another wonderful experience. I had gone to the gym one morning, and when I got home I decided to eat something healthy and watch a little TV before I took a shower and got ready for the day. As I was sitting in my family room, I heard this huge thunk in my front room. We don't have a mail box, we have a slot in our front door, and occasionally I hear a thunk when we get a catalog in the mail. Thinking nothing of it, I just finished my show and my snack. When I went upstairs, I decided to look in my front room, and see if maybe something fell. There was a big manila envelope on the floor, with my name on it from my BF Christy. I call her My Chris, because we've been friends since college. She is one of the most Christ like people I have ever met, and is a huge inspiration to me. My birthday was the week before, so I thought maybe it was a little something for my special day. When I opened it, there was a book on adoption stories, and the most wonderful note inside. As I looked at the title to the book, I started to cry. Was it possible that God answered my prayers through a friend? I had heard stories of things like this happening to people, where they were in total despair, and someone just "had a feeling" that they needed them. But never has that happened so obviously to me. Inside the book, she wrote, "I hope this brings you the joy and peace that you need." How did she know? How did she know that peace was exactly what I needed? How did she know that I was seeking confirmation that this was still the right thing for us? How? I was too emotional to call her that day, so I waited. When Kyle came home that night, I showed him the book, and told him some of the beautiful stories I read. Stories about adoptive parents, praying for a child, and God hearing their prayers and performing miracles. And heartbreaking stories of young girls, loving their babies enough to give them to parents who could give them the things that they couldn't. It was beautiful.
The next day, I called My Chris to thank her. I asked her, "How did you know?" Well, it turns out, she had had that book for a little while. She didn't read it, and wasn't sure if it was good, and she wasn't sure if she was even going to send it to me. But she had this strong feeling that she needed to send it to me, and she needed to do it then. I thanked her for this book, and we had a wonderful talk about family, and prayer, and staying on the right path. It was exactly what I needed. So now, our prayers are, once again, "Please help us find the money." We know what we need to do. We know that there is a baby waiting for us. We are making different choices. We are doing things as a family, and trying to not let outside influences affect us. We are trying to be patient. And, we are waiting for our baby.