Is It The Same?

The other day I was talking with a good friend, and she brought up loving your adopted kids the same as your biological kids. It was very interesting. I thought about it for a sec, and told her, "I really feel like I'm already connected with his little spirit." It's like when you're first pregnant, and you're excited, and even though you can't feel the baby and you're not showing, you already feel a connection with this little person. You worry about whether or not they're healthy, and you're curious about what they're going to look like. The thing that's different for me, is that I really have no control over anything. When I was pregnant, I didn't drink caffeinated soda's, and I stayed away from artificial sweeteners. I didn't eat sushi, and I didn't lift anything too heavy. I can do all of that now, but it's not going to affect my baby. The only thing I can do at this point is hope and pray that our birth mother is taking care of herself.

But even though I'm not the one that's pregnant, I still feel this connection to our baby. It's hard to explain, and unless you've been there, it's also hard to understand. I know that some people question whether or not we should do this. We already have 3 other children, and they're all older. We have a son with special needs. Shouldn't we be focusing on those children? And to that I say, "What if I had become pregnant? Would it still be an issue? So what's the real problem?" The difference is that this time, we are making a conscience decision about bringing another person into our family. Will I love him the same as I love my other children? Absolutely. Will my other children be neglected? No more than any other children when a new sibling is born. I guess the point I'm trying to make is this. It doesn't matter that our baby is growing in someone else's uterus. What matters is that this child is meant to come to us, and because of that, I already love him.