I wonder why.....

I love TV, as anyone who knows me, knows. I love all sorts of shows. "Girly" shows, medical dramas, scary, action, sci-fi. I use to watch a show about a doctor who was brilliant, but very grumpy. I quit watching for some reason, but occasionally I'll come across a rerun somewhere. The other day, as I was flipping through the stations for something fun to watch, I noticed one of the characters from the show had adopted a baby. This was a single woman who had tried to adopt before, but the birth mother changed her mind. I hadn't watched in a while, so I was happy for her when I saw her sitting in a nursery holding a small bundle wrapped in a blanket that couldn't be anything but a baby. Her friend and co-worker had stopped by to see how she and her baby were doing, but something was definitely wrong. A few minutes into the episode, it was very apparent what was wrong. She hadn't been able to bond with her baby. She mentioned that she didn't feel anything. Her friend was very worried about her, and seemed reluctant to leave them alone together. "I feed her, I change her diaper, I give her what she needs." This woman looked as if she was suffering from Post Partem Depression. But how could she, if she hadn't given birth? It was so weird. The one thought that kept going through my head was, "That's not supposed to be your baby!" She described being disconnected from the baby, and wondering wasn't she supposed to feel all warm and fuzzy inside? She wasn't feeling anything like that. Her friend suggested maybe she was just tired. Nope. She said the baby slept great. She wasn't sleep deprived. As I watched, I thought to myself, it was a good thing we said no to the first file that we were offered. I would hate to go through everything, only to hold a baby and realize it wasn't mine. This baby should have gone to another family. I have faith that when our baby's file is shown to us, we'll know. And when we finally get to bring him home, we'll feel that same connection that you feel when you bring your biological children home from the hospital. That you just know that this is your baby! Because I never want to bring a child into my home, only to realize they were needed somewhere else. That doesn't seem fair to anyone, most especially the baby.